Hellooo Everyone,
I hope you had a great weekend. Mine was so - so. I spent time with my kids and family today, but for some reason, I wasn't all there. I had a feeling of not wanting to be there. I don't know why. Maybe because there wasn't enough time to visit with everyone although I made no attempt to do so. Maybe I'm in the middle of a pity-party. Struggling to make ends meet is taking its toll on me. So, what do I do? I feel sorry for myself, awwwww. Poor, poor Gerry. He has the love and respect of his family again, he's got a beautiful place to live, he has a job that he loves and takes pride in, he's got a nice car, and he's got friends in the program who love him. So, what the hell is it? Money. I'm so selfish about the material object of money. It happens now and again, then usually goes away. But to think that I could make things better with money is an illusion. Sure, it would help, but, I wouldn't be genuinely happy and I would keep wanting more. Just like my alcoholism and my addictive behavior. Always searching for the ultimate high. In all actuality, I've haven't been searching for the right ultimate high. God of the Most High. Focusing on my dilemma instead of giving it to Him was my main mistake. What an idiot. You'd think I've learned by now but in recovery, we're all lifetime students. We never stop learning when we ask for help. Whether it be from the Fellowship or God or both, which is a great combination in my book. Now, it's time to ask the Ultimate Teacher for the next lesson.
Until next time, God Bless.
{Daily Passage: The path to eternal life in Christ is walked by faith.}
{"The time has come," he said. "The kingdom of God is near. Repent and believe the good news!" - MARK 1:15}
Sunday, February 15, 2009
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
I know what you mean. I get "stinken thinken" sometimes and boy does the "pity party" begin. Then something hits me and I think want a minute, who am I to be feeling so sorry for myself. I have a lot of good things going on in my life and should be thankful for that. It also helps when you have good friends that slap you back into reality. LOL
ReplyDeleteI noticed something was wrong on Sunday that you weren't yourself. I figured you were worrying about you being able to care for Zach and Joanna. I know its going to be hard but we're here for you. Going to ask Jenny at work what size her boy's clothes are and I'll get back to you on it. We might not always respond back right away but we're always praying for you, Gerry. Love always Kathy
ReplyDelete