Sunday, April 12, 2009

HE Saved Me

Hellooo Everyone,
HE is Risen! I hope everyone had a glorious & blessed Easter. I know I did. I spent time with my family but my 2 oldest daughters couldn't make it. Originally they were goin' to but 'plans changed'. That used to get me so upset. I thought that since I was sober, things will materialize as planned (in my mind). When things didn't, that was a perfect excuse to go out & get hammered. Nowadays, I almost expect things to not go according to plans so it won't catch me offguard. Don't get me wrong, I still get a little upset, but that passes quickly. Remember, God's time, not mine. HE must've thought it was the right time for me to go back to days because I start working days tomorrow. Actually, I brought it up to my boss. But it was God that gave me the strength to come forward about it. I had to. My days & nights were SO screwed up. I wasn't eating right, sleeping enough and I was losing track of reality (not so hard to do in the 1st place). I listened to my body & mind, I had to draw the line somewhere. I never used to do that. I used to love to abuse my body cuz I was invincible, so I thought. God gave me a second chance at life, I'm not screwing it up this time. HE Is Risen! & HE Has Raised Me Up!
Until next time, God Bless.

{Note of Inspiration: Remember Jesus' body and blood - they were given for you.}

{Passage of Praise: Do this in remembrance of me. ~ 1 CORRINTHIANS 11:24}

Monday, April 6, 2009

Overloaded

Hellooo Everyone,

The times between posts are gettin' bigger and bigger, I know. My last post mentioned I had alotta things goin' on. Well, I still do. Since then, my night shift experience is gettin' a little hectic. The people who I'm supervising are, I guess you could say, gettin' tired of having someone watching over them and correcting them. At first it was "Thank you for explaining this to me", and now it's more like, them gettin' pissed when I do it. Kinda like early recovery. At first we're all ready and willing to make the change, but after awhile, the eagerness and energy to do it wears off. I also found 2 part time jobs. One is selling cutlery, which is a pretty laid back opportunity. I'm allowed to set up my own schedule and don't have to report to work every day. The other job is selling a unique product called 'NicClean'. Its a cleaning wipe that simply makes nicotine film and scum disappear from any glass surface, mainly car windshields. The owner is based out of St. Cloud, MN and after using this product, I was so impressed that I asked her if she had any salespeople located in the metro area. She told me she had one located in Iowa but that was it. So as of now, I'm her rep for the metro. It's a small product that we can set up in convenience stores, car care stores, grocery stores, etc. But, we're in the process of getting the word out, via internet and word of mouth. I would think it'd be an easy sell but nevertheless, still takes alotta work. If anyone is interested, the website is http://www.nicclean.com/. Yet another thing I'm planning to do is move back to my hometown area. Yeah, I would have to drive to work that would take an hour but it's one of the sacrifices that I'm willing to make. I look at it this way, when I get my kids, they'll be close to my family, we'll have alotta support and help, the kids will be closer to their sisters and I'll be closer to my 2 oldest daughters. I miss my family. I said after I got sober that I could never live back home. But the more I think about it and feel it, I believe I've matured enough where I know that God has blessed me by taking away my drink problem and I know that He has taken away so much of that fear that used to hold me down so much. I've prayed so much on this and it just feels like the right thing to do. If anyone DOES read this blog, let me know your feelings about it. That's not to say I'll change my mind but I cherish and appreciate your thoughts.

Until next time, God Bless.



{Note of Inspiration: Train youth to make good choices by your words and example.}


{Passage of Praise: Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it. ~ PROVERBS 22:6}

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Ho Hum

Hellooo Everyone,
It's been awhile since I last posted, mainly because I've got so many things goin' on in my mind right now. I'm currently looking for a part time job, getting everything (almost) straight before the kids come in June, and focusing on my job. Hmmm, what's missing? Ah yes, my program. I have to admit I've been slacking off on my daily meditations as of late. Boy, do I notice a difference. I feel so stuck in neutral. Nothing to motivate or encourage me. I've shut the #1 things out of my life and I'm hurting for it. I don't know why I do it, complacency I guess. Whatever it is, it's not a good excuse. So it looks like I have to take the pledge again. I MUST pray, I MUST meditate, I MUST listen to that inner voice, and I MUST surrender. All those things in my head? That's the problem, they're in my head. "Lord, clear my mind of the worries that are burdening me. Remind me that You have all the answers and that all I have to do is trust You".

{Note of Inspiration: The Cross - God's answer to sin; our way to freedom!}

{Passage of Praise: It is by grace you have been saved. ~ EPHESIANS 2:5}

Saturday, March 14, 2009

A Little Out Of Whack

Hellooo Everyone,
Well I completed my first week on the night shift. Talk about a change of pace and a change of routine. The main thing I had to get used and still adjusting to is the different sleep pattern. I'm losing track of days and I must say that I'm a little off kilt. BUT, I do like the challenge of the job and the change of atmoshere.
That's what great about recovery. I've accepted a challenge and a change in my life. And I'm OK with it. No way could I have been that accepting in the past. I understand that alot of responsibility has placed upon my shoulders but I welcome it instead of running away from it. The program of AA has taught me to be confident and trust that God has brought me to it and He'll get me thru it. No fear.
I'm still a little out of whack but that's how transitions are. I know it will get better as I keep moving forward, that's the main thing, keep moving forward.
Until next time, God Bless.

{Note of Inspiration: Jesus. Others. You. ~ J.O.Y.}

{Passage of Praise: The joy of the Lord is your strength. ~ NEHEMIAH 8:10}

Saturday, March 7, 2009

A Feeling of Trust

Hellooo Everyone,


A little while back I was whining to my boss about the night shift at work. A confrontation occurred as a result ('A Little Confrontation' 2-24). The same problems have been reoccurring. Well, Thursday, out of the blue, my boss asked me if I'd be willing to go to nights for 2 months to straighten things out. Without hesitation, I agreed. In the past, I would've panicked because I didn't think I could do it. Nowadays, I have more confidence in myself thanks to AA and God. Alot of people 'talk the talk' but don't back it up with action. I knew that I had to show my boss that I could be trusted and that he can have confidence in me. It must've paid off. PATIENCE.
Thursday was an amazing day. First the 'work' thing, then came the relief of finding a day care. On the first try!!! I was prepared to call all over the county to find the right day care for my 5 & 6 yr. olds. Well, the Lord blessed me with the first one I contacted. I had an interview with the day care Thurs. night and was overly impressed. Sad to say, I was more worried about the cost than anything else. To my surprise, it's very reasonable. Y'know, in the early stages of my recovery, I kept hearing people talk about miracles, rewards, and gifts and working a program in order to receive them. Well, I must be working mine because the last 3 days have been so miraculous, rewarding, and giving to me. FAITH.

{Note of Inspiration: Be a mover and a shaker - confident and bold in prayer.}

{Daily Passage: After they prayed, the place where they were meeting was shaken. ~ ACTS 4:31}

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Puzzled Life

Hellooo Everyone,
When I find myself wasting too much time, like being on the computer or watching too much TV, I like to pass the time by putting puzzles together. It's something I've always loved to do since I was a kid. I find it relaxing and rewarding. I also find it very similar to my recovery. At first my life was like the puzzle, strewn all over the table, in pieces. I had to start to put my life together in order to feel whole. But I had to be patient. I started with a piece here and there. As I continued, it seemed to get a little easier, the picture began to take shape and I felt good about it. Every day I kept working on it, making progress (sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly). Eventually, the day came when I finally completed it. I was very proud of my accomplishment. I would display it for days, admiring it everytime I walked by. So now what? How long do I just let it sit there? Not too long, I've noticed. When it's finished, that's it. No more pieces to fit together, no more challenges. Ah, but there IS something I can do. I can start the next puzzle of my life. I can't let it sit idle, I must keep moving on to the next challenge, otherwise I get too lazy and complacent. My kids enjoy helping me put puzzles together. When I think about it, they are the most important pieces of my life puzzle, along with the program and God (the Centerpiece).
Until next time, God Bless.

{Note of Inspiration: In Christian service, giving is more than just a word. It's a way of life. Share your time, talent, and treasure.}

{Freely you have received, freely give. ~ MATTHEW 10:8}

Sunday, March 1, 2009

A Suggestion

Hellooo Everyone,
Say, I have a suggestion to make. I don't know if anyone has ever heard of Jennifer Rothschild or not, but I strongly encourage you to check out her website. She became legally blind when she was a teenager, but managed to become a best selling author, pianist, singer, speaker, and also a loving wife and mother of two. I've read one of her books entitled: Lessons I've Learned In The Dark. It is extremely inspirational and uplifting. It's not about recovery but it's about overcoming the tough obstacles in our lives. Her website is http://www.jenniferrothschild.com/. There are ways to purchase her books, CD's, and check out her blog, which can be seen at the bottom of every page of this blog.
Until next time, God Bless.

{Note of Inspiration: Help me to do my common tasks today in an uncommon way, filled with the Holy Spirit.}

{Your labor in the LORD is not in vain. ~ 1 CORINTHIANS 15:58}

Friday, February 27, 2009

A Setback of Sorts

Hellooo Everyone,

How's the weather where you're at? Here, it snowed about 6-8 inches yesterday. For me, I'm always in awe of God's nature. But, this time of year always gets me jumping the gun a little. There'll be a streak of warm weather, melting snow, dry streets and roads, driving with my window down, then...it snows about a half a foot. It always sets me back a little because I want Spring to get here but forgetting that part of the transition from Winter to Spring is a little warmer weather and a little more snow. I'm getting better at reminding myself that when it snows like this, it doesn't stick around like it does in December & January.

So it goes with recovery and sobriety. As we start to come out of the Winter of our using days, our hearts of ice start to melt, we get anxious and hopeful (understandably). Then, more often then not, we fall back a little resulting in a relapse of some sort stemming from some sort of letdown. I always keep in mind that when I get let down about something, I need to wait it out knowing that it's only temporary. I don't give up on my recovery because that's my main priority. The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous tells me so. It's like the weather. Whatever it's like outside now, I have to accept it. I can't change it. The moment I let it get to me, I'm not being in recovery, I'm not letting God do His work on His time. Things DO get better, but it's the action of turning it over that precedes it. Remember, I did things my way for a long time, and we all know how that turns out. The Spring of our lives are just around the corner but it can't skip a beat, it needs to run it's course. So I'm trying to be positive about what I have in front of me right now and that's knowing that, if I let Him, God will put more important things in front of me to take my mind off of the anxiousness of Spring. Let Go & Let God.
Until next time, God Bless.

{Note of Inspiration: God is powerful enough to bring about any change on earth.}

{For the earth will be full of the knowledge of the LORD. ~ ISAIAH 11:9}

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

A Little Confrontation

Hellooo Everyone,
Right off the bat, to make a long story short, my boss and I had a little heated conversation this morning. I was bitching about the night shift not doing things properly thus, we have to fix things all of the time. He kept coming up with his usual excuses and it ended with me simply walking away. A little while later, I tried to explain to him the reasons for my argument. All of which were legit. Later in the day, we sat down and discussed a solution to our dilemma.
The point I'm getting at is, I used to let people take advantage of me, let them walk all over me because of the shame and guilt I was feeling. I justified them being superior over me because of my feelings. But no more. I stood up for what I believe and know is true. I held my ground and didn't back down. Five years ago that wouldn't have happened. It shows me how much I've matured in recovery. It shows how brave and courageous I've become and how 'strong minded' I can be when it comes to standing up for the truth. I must say I'm a little proud of myself. Tomorrow night, my boss and I are going to show the night shift the proper way to do the job. Hopefully, they'll pick up on it and we'll all be on the same page.
Until next time, God Bless.

{Note of Inspiration: God will settle all accounts - have no fear.}

{For the Lord is a God of justice. Blessed are all who wait for him. ~ ISAIAH 30:18}

Thursday, February 19, 2009

My Apologies

Hellooo Everyone,
Y'know, when I started doing this blog thing, my main focus was reaching out to the recovering alcoholic and addict, spiritually speaking. Well, after looking through some of my recent posts, I noticed that I was talking more about God than I was about AA (my recovery program of choice). Don't get me wrong, God is huge part of my life but AA is also. It appears that I'm not balanced lately. I apologize for that. It wasn't my intent. The people I've met in AA, especially the ones in my home group, are the most loving people (besides my family) I've ever met. They've helped me so much in my recovery so far, not because they're geniuses or anything, it's because they've been through it. Their stories are no better or worse than mine, just different situations and circumstances. That's it! We've all faced those awful feelings of hopelessness, helplessness, and abandon. The best part of recovery is being with people who've experienced those same feelings (and countless others) and have found a way to turn their lives around. Remember, There is a Solution, Chapter 2 in the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous. It's my favorite chapter in the Big Book because there's so much hope described in it. The title itself makes me hopeful. Even if you've read it before, read it and read it again. It seems that everytime I do I find something I've never noticed or understood before. Progress in recovery makes me more aware, I guess. So, from now on, I'll make sure I keep things balanced on here.
Until next time, God Bless.

{Daily Passage: Grow strong from the challenges of this day.}

{But when you are tempted, He will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it. ~ 1 CORINTHIANS 10:13}

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Do Not Fear

Hellooo Everyone,
So I went to the plasma bank, you know, to help save lives, and get paid for it. Well, when I got done, I'd thought I'd take a different way home. Well, leave it to me, I got lost, temporarily. I drove through a neighbor for a little while until I saw a highway similar to the one I was looking for. So I got on it knowing if it wasn't it, there'd be signs telling me where I was, which direction I was going, and how to get to the one I was looking for. For a little while, fear set in. It was raining/snowing and I don't like driving at night on wet roads especially when I don't know where I'm going. After about 10-15 minutes of white knuckling the steering wheel, I saw a sign that I recognized and took the next exit. I had found my way. I know this all sounds stupid, but I grew up on a farm and never really learned how to drive in the 'big city' until my first year of sobriety. Through alot of faith and patience and paying attention, (and not totally freaking out), I learned to be calm and God will show me the way. He gives me tools to handle situations that used to force me to give up right away without making an attempt. He didn't drive the car for me or turn the steering wheel but He put 'signs' up to let me know that there's always another way. To say the least, I'll be sticking to the map that I used in the first place. But I did make an attempt to try something that I wasn't accustomed to. I tried it, but it wasn't for me. It was so comforting that God was in the passenger seat though.
Until next time, God Bless

{Daily Passage: Sing a song of joy today. Fill your heart with praise!}

{My heart leaps for joy and I will give thanks to Him in song. ~ PSALM 28:7}

Sunday, February 15, 2009

Down... For Some Reason

Hellooo Everyone,
I hope you had a great weekend. Mine was so - so. I spent time with my kids and family today, but for some reason, I wasn't all there. I had a feeling of not wanting to be there. I don't know why. Maybe because there wasn't enough time to visit with everyone although I made no attempt to do so. Maybe I'm in the middle of a pity-party. Struggling to make ends meet is taking its toll on me. So, what do I do? I feel sorry for myself, awwwww. Poor, poor Gerry. He has the love and respect of his family again, he's got a beautiful place to live, he has a job that he loves and takes pride in, he's got a nice car, and he's got friends in the program who love him. So, what the hell is it? Money. I'm so selfish about the material object of money. It happens now and again, then usually goes away. But to think that I could make things better with money is an illusion. Sure, it would help, but, I wouldn't be genuinely happy and I would keep wanting more. Just like my alcoholism and my addictive behavior. Always searching for the ultimate high. In all actuality, I've haven't been searching for the right ultimate high. God of the Most High. Focusing on my dilemma instead of giving it to Him was my main mistake. What an idiot. You'd think I've learned by now but in recovery, we're all lifetime students. We never stop learning when we ask for help. Whether it be from the Fellowship or God or both, which is a great combination in my book. Now, it's time to ask the Ultimate Teacher for the next lesson.
Until next time, God Bless.

{Daily Passage: The path to eternal life in Christ is walked by faith.}

{"The time has come," he said. "The kingdom of God is near. Repent and believe the good news!" - MARK 1:15}

Friday, February 13, 2009

Friday the 13th

Hellooo Everyone,
OOH, Friday the 13th. Everyone (well, almost everyone) makes such a big deal about this day when it comes around. I was talking with one of my daughters last night and this subject came up. I told her that if you believe in the bad luck associated with Fri. the 13th, then chances are something bad will happen. Murphy's Law type of thing. You'll be so focused on trying to prevent bad stuff that you won't pay attention to the good stuff that happens. Bad stuff happens to me every day, but I don't dwell on it because the gratitude I have totally outweighs it. Some days I don't even notice that things went wrong. It's because they went wrong right at that moment and then it's over. I try to look at the big picture. All that God has blessed me with in the 3 year & 10 months I've been sober is something I can't fathom at times. I'm not saying bad things don't happen, they certainly do. It's what I learn from them is what counts. That's part of life, isn't it? That's called LEARNING, (I try to pass this on to my kids). I need to have balance in my life, taking the good with the bad. When good things happen, I don't question it because it's God's work, He's the boss. It's my job to stay positive (or try to) in order to keep balance. He has better plans than I do. So, go about your day and look for the goodness in everything.
Until next time, God Bless.

{Daily Passage: Don't be like a teeter-totter. A balanced life honors God.}

{The man who fears God will avoid all extremes. ~ ECCLESIASTES 7:18}

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

In Memoriam

Hellooo Everyone,
It was 28 yrs. ago today that my brother committed suicide. He was 16 and I was 11 at the time. I looked up to him. He was my best friend. He taught me how to play baseball, football, basketball and introduced me to rock 'n' roll. He also introduced me to weed. Little did I know at the time, he was doing other stuff too besides drinking and partying. He was also hurting inside. After he died I swore I wouldn't smoke weed again but partying was OK. I thought I had an obligation to carry on his memory by being the best partier and to be well known for it. Thus began my drinking career.
Anyway, every year on this day I especially remember him by listening to "Free Bird" by Lynyrd Skynyrd. It was his favorite song and mine as well. The first line is as follows: "If I leave here tomorrow, would you still remember me?" The answer is 'of course my brother, I do and always will. I miss you and will never forget you. We'll meet again someday'. Tell your loved ones that you love them, they won't be around forever.
Until next time, God Bless.

{Daily Passage: Believe in Jesus, learn from Jesus, be humble like Jesus.}

{He humbled himself and became obedient to death - even death on a cross! ~ PHILIPPIANS 2:8}

Sunday, February 8, 2009

Winding Down

Hellooo Everyone,
Winding down the weekend. I just can't seem to find ways to make Sunday nights bearable. They're a problem for me for some reason. I think it dates back to my using days when I'd stay up all weekend and didn't want it to end. I need to change up my Sunday pattern somehow. I think, not taking an afternoon nap would probably help. But it's sooo relaxing. Plus it's what us old people do. O.K., O.K., I'm not exactly old although my body tells me otherwise somedays. If anyone who reads this has suggestions, please let me know. Also, let me know how I can improve this site. I'm open for feedback. Besides, that's how we help each other, right? Honesty goes a long way. Early AA started slowly so I don't expect a lot of traffic to this site. Not right away anyway. Remember, this disease is a matter of life or death. We're in it together. We help each other, but it takes patience and faith. "Faith has to work twenty four hours a day in and through us, or we perish." - pg. 16 ~ The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous.
Until next time, God Bless.

{Daily Passage: Rejoice in the Lord's work, for the Lord is working in you!}

{ Do everything without complaining or arguing. ~ PHILIPPIANS 2:14}

Saturday, February 7, 2009

Anxious

Hellooo Everyone,
Ah yes, Saturday. The day when, (for me), is a day to get things done around the house. Well... maybe not. The last couple of days have been warming up. Spring is just around the corner. BUT, I have to remember that it's only February and that there's still alotta time for snowstorms. Every year when this happens, I think that next week the grass is gonna be green and Spring will magically appear. I get 'the itch' to get the shorts and sandals out and get a tan. Patience my boy, patience. Besides, when it warms up like this, I notice small things that are peaceful to me. Birds start to come back, the sound of trickling water from the melting snow, the squirrels and rabbits appear in my back yard. That's God's work, He's my calming agent. The great thing about the seasons changing is that they CHANGE. You don't wake up one day and it's Spring or Fall or Winter or Summer. It's the gradual transition that is fascinating. Patience. I can't hurry God's masterpiece. Remember, on His time, not mine. I just sit back and enjoy the show.
Until next time, God Bless.

{Daily Passage: As we stand up for God, He will strengthen us.}

{The Spirit came into me and raised me to my feet. ~ EZEKIEL 2:2}

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

An Accomplishment

Hellooo Everyone,
I'm not big into reading books. It's not that I hate it, it's just that it's hard for me to process the information while I'm reading it. I have to read it a couple of times to get it. Fried too many brain cells I guess. Well I just finished reading one. That's pretty good for me. Last summer I bought a book at a garage sale for $.50. The title caught my eye immediately. It's called "Praying God's Will for Your Life" by Stormie Omartian. What a fantastic book! It covers how to pray in every aspect of your life. There's prayers, 'tools of truth' which are scripture passages, and answers to common questions of how or when or why we need to pray. It's a phenominal read. It certainly helped me in my recovery when I started to notice that my faith and closeness to God seemed very minimal. She (Stormie) has written others books that can be seen on her website, http://www.stormieomartian.com/. I hope that you check it out because she's an awesome author. I will definitely get her other books and recommend them to anyone.
Until next time, God Bless

{Daily Passage: A new day awaits your contribution.}

{And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus. ~ COLOSSIANS 3:17}

Monday, February 2, 2009

Monday Monday

Hellooo Everyone,
Mondays usually go fast for me for some reason. Today was a little different. One of my coworkers wasn't there so I had to pick up the slack. I did my best to get things done, but to no avail. Frustration set in. I'm so thankful that God was there to help, otherwise others would have gotten the brunt of my 'discomfort'. I had to remind myself that it wasn't their fault and that I still had to treat them with kindness and love. I always have to look at things from others' point of view. I am NOT the center of the universe. It's always a good thing to remember.
Until next time, God Bless.

{Daily Passage: In all I do this day, may I treat others with love and respect.}

{Whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant. ~ MATTHEW 20:26}

Sunday, February 1, 2009

Super Sunday

Hellooo Everyone,
Happy Super Bowl Sunday. Sorry, I had to put that out there just because I'm a football fan. Whether you're a football fan or not, you can't help remembering the past Super Parties you went to, if any. The chips, dip, pizza, hot wings, and of course, the beer and booze (and other choice drugs). Nowadays, I think it's important to remember that it's also SUNDAY. I don't miss all the chaos, spilled food and drink, and all of the people trying to talk over one another. I like my Sundays quiet, serene, and fulfilling. For me, that's the best way to listen to God. I need to take a 'time out' once in awhile during the work week when things are hectic. That's what keeps me sane. So, the next time you're with friends and family, take 'time out' for God.
Until next time, God Bless

{Daily Passage: It's sometimes hard to hear God's voice in the clamor of the crowd.}

{Be still, and know that I am God. ~ PSALM 46:10}

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Patiently Waiting

Hellooo Everyone,
I've been calling around for some type of low-income housing, waiting on a call about a job, waiting for Spring. But somehow, I've been reasonably calm about my current situation. One of my major character defects was (and still is) patience or lack of. In order to overcome or improve on this, I had to practice. Practice, practice, practice. Thus improving my faith in God. Once I asked Him to remove my impatience, I immediately started to notice a change. A change in results. God knows what's good for me, I don't, except for the fact that I DO know that God is good for me. My oldest daughter's birthday was yesterday, 15 years already, and I can't wait to go see her this weekend. But it'll be here before I know it. That's because I've given it to God and I don't have to sit and anxiously wait for it. For me, faith and patience always pays off because I have the best Boss in the world.
Until next time, God Bless.

{Daily Passage: The benefits of waiting increase God's yield in our lives.}

{I waited patiently for the Lord; he turned to me and heard my cry. - PSALM 40:1}

Sunday, January 25, 2009

Getting Ready

Hellooo Everyone,
Hope everybody had a nice weekend. I had my 5 & 6 yr. old over so my weekend was very rewarding and a little hectic at times. That's normal though. There are times when they can be the best kids and then there's the other times where they get under each other's skin and mine as well. I used to yell and scold them for doing things but now I just remind myself that they're just kids. I have to do that all the time. If I don't let them be themselves, they'll miss out on all the fun that is being a kid. Free spirit, not a care in the world, being genuine. It's so fun to observe them when they play or try to figure something out for themselves. I'm there learning right along with them. Still being in early recovery, in some ways I'm just like them. I grow with them. Thanks to God and AA, I'm not afraid to learn or grow. I used to like the complacency, the ho-hum boring daily routines. But God and the Fellowship have showed me that His love is endless, just like the possibilities that He puts in front of us. So much to experience and enjoy.
Until next time, God Bless.

{Daily Passage: A personal relationship with Jesus helps us know the Father's love.}

{But you received the Spirit of sonship. - ROMANS 8:15}

Saturday, January 24, 2009

I Wish I Would've...

Hellooo Everyone,
Y'know, it's times like these when we all say to ourselves, "if I knew what I know now, I would change alotta things". That would be nice, wouldn't it? But it's not only the people in recovery that say that.
My mother will be 80 next month. She has diabetes and is not able to walk on her own because the ligaments in her knees are gone. She says she wished that she would've done more excercising 10 years ago and that she wouldn't be in this condition. I tried to comfort her by saying that I too wish I would've done things different. For me, my life has gotten better, with her, it's almost too late, physically. I went on to say that we've all done things we can't change and what we have to do now is accept the consequences of our actions or lack of. I look at it as another hurdle God has set up for us. I wish I would've sobered up sooner and saved money so I would be able to buy a nice place to live. But the situation I have in front of me right now is a test of my faith, in my opinion. If God made things easy for us, we wouldn't need faith. We'd be lazy and order God to give us what we want. I'm glad He doesn't do that, I'm a better person because of it. I think alot of you feel the same way.
Until next time, God Bless.

{Daily Passage: God knows the worst about us, yet for Christ's sake, loves us dearly.}

{For the Lord searches every heart and understands every motive behind the thoughts. - 1 CHRONICLES 28:9}

Friday, January 23, 2009

T.G.I.F.

Hellooo Everyone,
Fridays are typically the start of the weekend. No matter if you're just gonna take it easy or have a 'to do' list a mile long, at least you're away from work, right? It's also important to remember to slow down and reflect on God's love and all the blessings He has given us. Examples: sobriety, family, roofs over our heads, friends (in and out of recovery), health, etc. We can't lose sight of our main mission. To surrender to God's will (not always easy), to treat others as we like to be treated (definitely not always easy), to let go of all of our worries (although we like to hang on to them once in a while) and to give them all to God (He doesn't mind). To make it short: Try to do the right thing. If we keep doing that, His rewards are immeasurable. I've experienced that over and over. God'll never let you down.
Until next time, God Bless.

{Daily Passage: Up close and personal - that's the way of God}

{Seek the Lord while He may be found; call on Him while He is near. -ISAIAH 55:6}

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Keeping In Mind

Hellooo Everyone,
Well, my work week is done. Busy weekend ahead, including spending time with my kids and applying for a job. Yeah, applying for a job. Not a different one, another one. Times are awful right now as you well know. I'm the type of alcoholic who is used to arguing with myself, sort of. I've been debating whether to look for another one or not. There's a lot of people out there who've lost their jobs and here I am, looking for another one. But on the other hand, I have look out for number one here. I know it sounds harsh but I have alot to get ready for. There's being selfish, and then there's doing what's best for me and my kids. If God doesn't want me to get a job, He'll let me know. He loves me and wants only good things for me. When I first surrendered my life over to the care of God, the only thing I asked for was to be genuinely happy. That's it. Plain and simple. He never gave up on me even when everyone else (including me) did. I somehow knew my life was gonna get better but I had to keep in mind that it sure as hell wasn't gonna be easy. What was best for me was 'tough love'. Didn't like it but it was what I needed. Until next time, God Bless.

{ Daily Passage: Blessings come to those who set their minds on God's love. }

{ I love those who love me, and those who seek me find me. PROVERBS 8:17 }

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Getting Ahead...of Myself

Hellooo Everyone,
I've mentioned that I'll be getting custody of my 2 youngest kids in June, therefore, applying for housing assistance, day care assistance, etc. So lately I've been looking at places thinking, "that'd be a nice place to live", "I hope I can get that place", etc. Well yesterday I got a letter stating that I'm on the waiting list for housing assistance and that the estimated wait would be 2-3 years! I thought, "there must be a mistake". So I went to the county agency to ask. They said that that's the waiting list for assistance. I got a sick, disappointed feeling in my gut. I mean, I knew that I'd be on the waiting list but didn't think it'd be 2-3 years. My first thought was "what am I gonna do?". Since being in recovery, I've tried not to be too cocky about things like this. I try not to set myself up for a big downfall or disappointment because that would be doing my own will. Running my own show, if you will. Now I look at it as a lesson learned. God didn't want to hand me this stuff on a silver platter. He wants me to practice my patience and faith. He does have something better for me but I have to do the work. Keeping my end of the bargain. He has the tools for me, I just have to go out and find them. They're out there, I know they are. He reminds me when I get a little too ahead of myself. But He also likes to test me and see how I handle it. So, back to the drawing table, keep looking, keep my head up, and keep the faith. Until next time, God Bless.

Daily Passage: Need rescue today? Look up! God is always there to help you.

I lift up my eyes to the hills-where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord. -PSALM 121:1-2


Monday, January 19, 2009

Meeting Night

Mondays are my usual meeting night so I won't be posting much, if anything, on these days. Sorry. Until next time. God Bless.

Sunday, January 18, 2009

Downtime?

Happy Sunday Everyone,
Sundays for me mean downtime, day of rest, or, day of preparation for the week ahead. Although the economy is awful, I am so grateful that I still have a job. I see it on the news, companies shutting down, people getting laid off, etc. I think of the families that were struggling before this happened and how difficult it must be to keep their heads up. By all means, I'm not rich, don't have much money in the bank, work from paycheck to paycheck, kinda like it was while I was still using drugs and alcohol until the time came when I couldn't even hold a job. To think of how selfish I was, taking that all for granted.
Before the holidays I looked for a part time job. Mainly because all 4 of my kids' birthdays are in December and January and when you throw Christmas in there, it can get very, very stressful. When no one would hire me, I didn't get upset like I used to, I simply realized that someone needed it more than I did. This year I was able to get enough presents for everyone but still felt guilty for not getting them more. I turned, looked around, and realized that God doesn't give us more than we need and that, at any given time, we all must be grateful for what we have and not dwell on the things we don't. I believe everything happens on God's time, not our's and that patience and faith will prevail. We all need some 'downtime' once in a while. Let's use it to reconnect with Him.
Until next time, God Bless.

Saturday, January 17, 2009

Opening Day

Helloo everyone,
My name is Gerry & I'm new to this, or in other words, trying to catch up on the internet thing. I figure, kids are blogging nowadays, why can't I? As I get better at this, my main focus is to reach out to those that are in recovery and hopefully help as I share my ongoing journey.
This coming April, by the grace of God, I'll be 4 years sober. It took a long time to surrender and to put total faith in God. After pushing everyone that loves me away, somehow they still love me. Including my kids. Yeah, it took a long time for them to trust me again, but it was only by 'showing' them instead of 'telling' them that I have changed. In no way could I blame them for that.
Since I've been in recovery, God has blessed me with so many things that I didn't think possible. Some of them are material things, but most of them are linked to my family. My kids are my life for the first time. Sure, I've always loved my kids, but the love I have for them now is undescribable.
As of now, I'm about to start a whole new chapter in my life. I'm getting custody of my two youngest kids in early June. Alot of stuff to get ready for.
Until next time, God Bless.